Strange Requests

From time to time, I get strange requests made of me. Normally when I explain that I am a playwright, I get people telling me that they have got a great idea for a play; to which I respond:

“Then you’re the person to write it!”

Most of the time they don’t like that response, thinking that I am shunning their idea (and most of the time, they’re right!). But the best person to tell your story is you!

But that wasn’t the case this week…

I got a call from an old friend of mine. He had produced one of my plays and had directed another – and to a considerable degree of critical acclaim!

I knew that he was trying to get a theatre club going again, so I though that he was after one of my plays (royalty free – I was guessing) to get it off the round. But no…

He and a few friends of mine are about to pass out of Sandhurst (The British Army Officer Training College) this weekend. So, again, I guessed that it was going to be an invite to see him in all of his finery.

“Jay, would you happen to have a couple of panto cow outfits?”

Eh? The finest military college (apart from Dartmouth) needed two panto cows at their passing out parade! Which Royal was going to be taking that salute?

Sure, I’ve been asked to do odd things with my plays – but once you’ve been involved with amateur theatre, everyone assumes that you will have instant access to a wide range of wild and wacky costumes and props (indeed once, I had to turn up to a ball as a panto dame to entertain a collection of submariners).

Suffice to say, I didn’t have them hanging about in my closet – so I had to suggest that he got in contact with his local costume hire company.

But I can’t wait for the pictures of that passing out parade!